It’s important for partners to protect each other’s safety. I dont believe that it’s up to the individual alone to just protect themselves, or build themselves up to be an impermeable rock. Your partner should actively be taking care of your feeling of safety and security, and likewise, you are responsible for their safety and security.
When things come up that could be upsetting to your partner, it’s our responsibility to avoid them if possible, and return right away to our partner physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Specifically, we return to our partner physically by moving towards them, touching them, showing affection, etc. We return to our partner mentally by returning your attention and thoughts to your partner. And we return to our partner emotionally by making a connection with them in your heart.
The sooner we can “return to our partner,” the less long our partners will experience stress and anxiety. Some people may have the confidence that their partner will always return to them, even hours or days later, but people may still experience unconscious stress until the reconnection occurs. Returning instantaneously to our partner will save them any stress, and/or calm any stress immediately. This makes for much more confident partners.
What about when your partner isn’t around and would not be there to witness anything that would distress them? I believe it might still be beneficial to practice returning to your partner.
Firstly, if you take opportunities to flirt or enjoy someone flirting with you, and one day your partner meets this person and sees their behaviour towards you, they will get an indication that something is going on.
But let’s say you just enjoy checking out other people or looking at images that would not reciprocate. I think returning to your partner takes practice, and if you practice it sometimes and not in other times you won’t be consistent with your behaviour.
It could also be argued that returning to your partner helps develop your own personal closeness with your partner, and doing it even on your own will help build your relationship even when your partner isn’t there.
If BOTH partners can do this for each other, I believe this makes for the most stable relationship possible, where both partners feel confident in the safety of their relationship.